The Further Adventures of T & B

T hadn't been in for a couple days. Last Monday she had "bronchitis." Last Tuesday she had a doctor's appointment for some "women's issues," which she called and told me about since our boss was marooned in Vegas due to the weather. After the appointment for her hoo-hah, I guess she just took the rest of the day off since she never showed up.

So last Wednesday was the first time she'd been in all week. There was probably 24" of files sitting there on the cabinet, waiting to be put up. She didn't even look at it. Didn't even register.

After the new calendar year, paperwork becomes difficult to find: is it in 2007? Or 2008? Top that off with the fact that normally any old even semi-recent file can be in one of like 7 different locations (in the shop; with accounting; in the salesperson's or project manager's office; in the safe awaiting approval by my boss; in my boss' office, still awaiting approval; with T, awaiting invoicing; in the bin, awaiting filing), and I was really getting frustrated. So I took 40 minutes and did all the filing myself. I even created new hanging holders and made sure that all the 2007 files went into 2007 and all the 2008's into '08.

So after I was done with all of that, needless to say she was pretty high on my shit list. At the time, it probably looked something like this:
#1: George Bush
#2: Donald Trump
#3: Fergie
#4: Rachael Ray
#5: T
#6: Ty Pennington
Etc....with Hitler, Stalin, Osama bin-Laden and Jim Belushi probably rounding out the top 10.

Another part of her job is running the dishwasher 3 times a week. She's not responsible for loading the dishwasher or collecting the dishes, nope. Just filling it up with soap and pressing a button. And since she hadn't been at work for 2 days, we didn't even have one clean coffee mug available.

I'm not above ANYTHING. I'll mop, I'll sweep, I'll do whatever...I don't care. So I ran the dishwasher Tuesday night. To avoid any confusion, I put a large post-it note on the front of the dishwasher:

This way, when T walked in on Wednesday, she'd know that someone ran the dishwasher and that it would be acceptable to empty it (which is also part of her job.)

So when I walked into the lunch room and found the dishwasher on, I was even less pleased.

Me, understandably perplexed: "Why is the dishwasher running, T?"
T: "Because the dishes needed to be done!" (ask a stupid question...)
Me: "But they were clean. Didn't you notice the note I put on there?"

T: "Yeah, but I figured they could probably stand to be washed again."

I still don't know what to make of her response. I wonder: does she ALWAYS run her dishwasher twice at home? Does her asshole husband Mr. Pxxxx who wears sunglasses indoors like a fucking child molester like really, really, really clean dishes or something?

We may never know.

OH...and I almost forgot the BEST T STORY EVER:

One day I come into work and I see her already at her desk, looking down at something on the floor. Normally, she's dispensing the over-enthusiastic "Good Morning!!!"s immediately so I wonder why she hasn't looked up and noticed me yet.

Me: "Hey, T? You OK over there?"
T: "Yeah. I just noticed that I'm wearing two different shoes today."

She sticks her legs out of the side of her desk and shows me one brown and one blue. Not different socks. Different SHOES. One was a higher heel and the other a flat. I swear to God. How is that possible?

Awesome.